2024 has taken a lot. And I mean A LOT. The usual cadre of brilliant artists, celebrities, and people who fill our lives with beauty and meaning (good lord, as I was writing this, I found out that Jimmy Carter has gone to be with Rosalynn). On a personal level I lost a beloved uncle and a surrogate grandmother who volunteered at my job for longer than I was even there. Heck, this year even took one of our dog’s tails from us (still holding our breath that we got all the cancer).
For me though, as huge as all of those things are…the worst thing this year did was that a little over a month ago 2024 took my best friend of 47 years, Billy. He had what we scientifically referred to as a “dodgy ticker”. He was on medication for it but apparently it wasn’t enough. I’m not here to talk about his death though. I don’t want to talk about that at all. I’m here to talk about his (and our) life.
We met in first grade. 6 years old. 70s bowl cuts and earth tones in FULL effect. In fourth grade he (rightfully, I want to point out) stabbed me. And at some point, during the insanity of childhood we became best friends. Driving around in high school with no particular place to go he blared Pet Shop Boys and Information Society while he tolerated me listening to Guns n’ Roses and Mötley Crüe. Later we discovered the two of us still loved old school country. Johnny and Patsy and Willie.
He loved old Cadillacs and Lincolns just like his dad. He built model cars like a maniac. Particularly old Cadillacs and Lincolns. He loved good (SPICY) food and drink, his friends and family, and Jack Russell terriers. (Okay, he loved all dogs, but he REALLY adored Kirby and Katy.) Over the course of his life, he had MANY Cadillacs, Lincolns, AND dogs. He had even recently come around to enjoying the affections of a half feral cat that would occasionally come in the house whom he called Pickles.
He was seemingly fearless. In high school we did things with cars that we since came to realize we were lucky to survive. The first car I ever saw smoke a tire in real life was him driving a 1986 300 ZX. He was just as fearless in other ways. One random Friday night we were driving around and he looks at me and says “you know what? Let’s go to Atlanta!” I was horrified. My curfew at the time MIGHT have been 11. This was probably…7pm(?) when he made this decision? We’d never make it back in time! Also, there was no straight path to Atlanta then. But he hopped down to I-20 and we drove to Atlanta. Until he spotted a Toys-R-Us and whipped the car into the parking lot. We went in and he bought…model car paint pens. That was all. And then we got back in the car and drove home. (I may have been a little late that night but there were no repercussions that I recall.) Slowly his insanity pulled me out of my insecurities and into my own path of lunacy going forward.
Billy was one of a kind. No matter how much you warned new people about him and what he MIGHT say, they were never prepared. What (usually) started as shock quickly turned to genuine affection though as his irrepressible charm won over everyone who met him. One of the first times my (now) wife met him, we went out for Mexican. I warned her beforehand…”do NOT try to keep up with him on margaritas”. She did not listen. At some point she staggered to the bathroom and Billy decided that her purse did not contain enough items. The next day as she slowly got moving and opened the purse…salt shaker, pepper shaker, sweet n low packets, napkins…loose salt and pepper by the handful…all came tumbling out. That night my wife learned two things. Listen to me about Billy and do NOT leave your purse unattended with him.
For 47 years there were very few things I didn’t at least run by him. He was the first to know about my plans to get engaged and then my best man. He was always supportive of my art career to the point of yelling at me if I ever had anything negative to say about my own work. We made each other laugh like only people who have known each other almost half a century can. Old references that no one else understood, horribly inappropriate jokes, British tv shows that we probably didn’t even understand completely. We could sit for an hour JUST quoting “Young Frankenstein” at each other. He was 3 days younger than me and every year he made a BIG deal out of that fact.
I have literally thousands of stories with him and I cherish each and every goofy one of them. But goddammit…I wanted thousands more. I will miss him every single day and I’m sure more than once I will pick up the phone to tell him about some dumb thing I saw on social media or ask an extremely weird car question that only he could answer. In his honor, we’re going to eat spicy Mexican food and watch Mel Brooks movies and love our animals. I hope you’ll do the same.
P.S. If you want to share any stories with me, please do! Particularly embarrassing ones!
